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November 29, 2015

New Year's Resolution Fail-or-May The Forks Be With You

Posted by: Nancy Skee

Back in the day when I taught Middle School kids how to find their way around a kitchen, I had a hard time sleeping through the night. Falling  asleep was no problem. I was a champ at that. By the end of the evening I could close my eyes and hit the ZZZs whether I was standing, sitting, or bent in half in a yoga Downward Dog. Usually I was lucky enough to be prone when sleep hit and would be out so completely that almost nothing could get me up.

Then, like the 1980s Bangles hit, "it was 6 o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream," I'd be awake. Only it wasn't six a.m., it was always more like 3 a.m., or 4 a.m., or some inconvenient early hour where I'd wake up temporarily refreshed, but know I'd crash and burn right after lunch duty. Naturally it would be the afternoon of The Most Important Meeting (Lesson, Principal Evaluation - fill in the blank - always something) of My Career. I'd lie in bed, willing myself to re-sleep which, of course, never worked. How could sleep happen when I'm shouting in my head,  "It's almost morning! Hurry up and rest!" Other times I'd congratulate myself on knowing I still had x number of hours of sleep until the alarm went off. Sure.

Anyway, as 2013 was coming to a close, I was thinking about how I could stop being a whiner and use my situations to my advantage to improve myself and the world, or some similar Miss-America-type idea. My New Year's resolution was along the lines of "I'm going to use my waking hours fruitfully and thoughtfully, and take advantage of down time to refresh and relax." A teacher with down time. So funny.

You've heard that most people break their New Year's resolutions within 21 days after they're made, so I thought I'd give it a dry run during Christmas break to work out the kinks before making it official.

Day One:

  • 3:42a.m. Get out of bed, review New Year's resolution, do stretching exercises, have breakfast of coffee, yogurt, and granola. Do the laundry, wash the kitchen floor, answer emails.
  • 6:30a.m. Eat some bacon and an English muffin and work on new nutrition lesson for eighth graders. Clean the bathroom.
  • 9:30 a.m. Reward self with the leftover Christmas ham and a piece of cake with ice cream for accomplishing so much so early in the day. Tired. Fall asleep while meditating.
  • 11:30 a.m. Wake from meditation, read the newspaper, have second breakfast. Go to the store for cat litter. Come home, eat lunch. Read a book.
  • 2:00 p.m. Vacuum, dust living room, clean refrigerator, pay bills, organize office files, iron laundry from the morning. Taste the Chex Mix. It's good, but it won't stay in the bag so must consume all. Also am thirsty, so make  smoothie to go with Chex. Scrub basement floor.
  • 5:12 p.m. Pour glass of wine, order pizza, watch news, accidentally fall asleep while meditating after eating pizza.
  • 8:17 p.m. Wake up, have some leftover Christmas cookies and coffee to ready self for evening shift. Make Christmas card list for next year to ensure sending them out for real. Unload dishwasher. Have Cosmo with neighbor.
  • 10:55 p.m. Pretty tired. Take off makeup. Sleep.


Day Two:

  • 3:28 a.m. No worries! Get out of bed, review New Year's resolution, do stretching exercises, have breakfast of coffee, yogurt, and granola. Paint trim in bathroom. Clean brushes. Expended much energy. Waffles and sausage  would be good way to refuel. Relax with book.
  • 7:00 a.m. Finish book. Organize closet. Throw out broken jewelry. Wipe down baseboards. Clean windows. Sew some new pillow shams to freshen bedroom. Good work. Finish off cake and remaining ice cream. Ham also. There's potato salad, too. So tired. Meditate and/or nap.
  • 1:02 p.m. Where did morning go?! Meet friends for late lunch and beverage at Bonefish Grill. Pants hurt. Shop for shoes. Browse bookstore while sipping latte. Questioning fruitful use of time.
  • 6:39 p.m.  Put on stretchy pants. Pull out lesson plans to revise. Difficult to focus on school work. Have snack and watch movie instead.
  • 9:00 p.m. Refreshed! Pour glass of wine and pop some popcorn. Begin cleaning kitchen cupboards. Phone rings. Talk with friend, nix cupboards. Feel guilty because New Year's resolution demands fruitful hours, so clean countertop with Clorox Wipes to placate the people who monitor New Year's resolutions.
  • 10:22 p.m. Go to bed.


Day Three:

  • 4:55 a.m. Hurray! It's almost like a normal wake-up time.  Get out of bed, review New Year's resolution, do stretching exercises, have breakfast of coffee, yogurt, and granola and maybe some French toast for being such a good sleeper.
  • 5:25 a.m. Strip beds, wash sheets, wax floors, polish brushed nickel bathroom fixtures. Clean grout on all tiling.
  • 9:22 a.m. Grumpy and sick of doing stuff. Where's the cake?
  • 9:23 a.m. What happened to the ham?
  • 9:25 a.m. Review dry run of New Year's resolution.
  • 9:27 a.m. Review: Sleep deprivation is unattractive and is not cured by prolonged, intermittent meditating and/or napping. Productivity increased; house looks good, but increased fruitfulness has caused pants not to fit, making self unattractive. Forks were definitely with me.
  • 9:28 a.m. Conclusion: Can't keep this resolution without buying new clothes every month. Also probably can't nap in class when kids are making tacos. Need alternate solution to decreasing 3 a.m. stress.
  • 9:30 a.m. Solution: Evening aroma therapy and cup of decaf with Bailey's Irish Cream?
  • 9:31 a.m. Solution: Retire at the end of the school year and become an Innkeeper? Which to choose? Which to choose!


Well, I think we know how this all turned out, and I think you've heard me talk about Jon Gordon's powerful One Word alternative to making New Year's resolutions. I've chosen my word for 2016, and I can't wait to share it with you in my next blog. We have some great plans we're working on to make our guests' stay even better in the upcoming year, and I'm looking forward to bringing those to life. In the mean time, check out the whole One Word idea and think about what your word could be. Join me for next Tuesday's blog, or stop at the Inn yourself!  Enjoy the rest of the year. See you soon.

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