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January 15, 2019

Crappy Friends Are The Best Friends

Posted by: Nancy Skee

Crappy  Friends Are The Best Friends

Are you lucky enough to have yourself some Crappy Friends?

No, I'm not talking about the kind who will take the last package of Mint Milano cookies off the shelf even while you're reaching for them, or the kind who will leave an ingredient out of a recipe you ask for so theirs is better than yours.

Ole Golly's Mother from Harriet the Spy, written and illustrated by Louise FitzhughI don't even mean the kind who steal your friends, or the ones who urge you to buy an outfit in which they secretly delight in knowing makes you look like Ole Golly's Mother. Those people really are crappy and just mean.

I mean real Crappy Friends.

Sam, Kim, Wendy and I, pictured above (Oh wait - Wendy's not there because she crappily ditched us for her daughter's birthday, haha!), have known each other probably 20 years and "grew up" together as teachers in elementary, then middle school. We know one another's greatnesses, stupidities, families, friends, enemies, phobias. We've shared triumphs and humiliations, wings and beer, classrooms and cars and vacations.

But we don't really hang out together. We don't chat on the phone or spend the day going shopping. Usually, we don't talk or text or phone or see one another for months (bordering on years) although we're within a 15 minute driving distance. In fact, I can't remember the last time all of us were in the same room together. When it does happen, though, I'm taking a picture.

Even so, we are the first ones we turn to during major Life Events or when we need something. That's what makes us great Crappy Friends. No one is offended if you ask, and no one is offended if you don't turn up. With real Crappy Friends you have a rich history that allows you to go for a long time without contact, then come together without missing a beat as if you just talked yesterday.  Most of us have family out of the area, which makes our crappy friendship even more valuable, know what I mean?

Over the last couple of decades we've shouted out for one another - sometimes across continents -  when one of us:

  • needed a car
  • needed thousands of dollars
  • watched her mom die
  • learned her dad died
  • had a kid who was suspended
  • needed help scrubbing cat snot off the wall
  • got married
  • got unmarried
  • got a kidney
  • needed a beer
  • was heartbroken
  • had a kid who didn't graduate
  • found out her kid, too, was diabetic
  • needed sushi
  • celebrated a birthday
  • retired
  • wanted to run away
  • strongly disliked PSSA testing
  • needed a videograher
  • and more

I am fortunate to have so many people in my life who I've been able to call my friend - neighbors, colleagues, and family, too. As if that wasn't enough, I even have have off-shoot Crappies.  We meet for lunch every year or so - or when we just need to look at one another or someone needs something....like peanut butter balls....hint hint.

Who are the people in your life who are a part of your history? The ones who fall into place as if they'd just talked to you yesterday? Crappy Friends fill a unique niche - you can be so lucky!

 

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